Sometimes I wonder if there's only one furniture store on the planet. Because it seems like other furniture stores sell only ugly crap at really high prices. Also, I am not one to go to Walmart and pay $200 for a crappy futon that will break in six months. Anymore. Yes, Walmart, you fooled me once but NEVER AGAIN! (Also, please look at Target and re-evaluate the state of your business) Ikea has brainwashed me into drinking their kool-aid (Lingonberry punch) and entices me with goodies (like retro modern furniture and chocolate). Now I don't want to shop anywhere else. Save for a few Craigslist finds that likely originated from... IKEA.
A little one dimensional am I? Please. I think other furniture stores are one dimensional. Remember 1994 when everyone and their mother had the SAME forest green plaid couch?
Or for 2000, it was all leather, all the time? How about how everyone seems to have the same ottoman with storage for blankets and trinkets... At least IKEA has the guts to sell a butt ugly, puke green couch and you'll like it or else! How about their names for products? Talk about creative! No clue on whether the products are ACTUALLY Swedish but they sure sound cool.
I totally spoke fluent Ikea today, by the way. Pam was looking at Ikea products to fit in her new apartment and I was totally, "try the Klippan series". Yeah. AND...I personally recommend the MALM series for the bedroom. It's very cute and timeless. Also beats the heck out of those THOUSAND pound sleigh beds. MALM has about 100 different mix and match options for your bedroom that will spark your marriage. By spark, I am talking about the shouty arguments while trying to put this stuff together.
There's this chair, looks like a newer design that I want just because of the name... The KLAPPSTA. Can you imagine entertaining guests?
"This chair? It's imported. It's a Klappsta." (Except it DOES sound like a slang word for someone who's gotten the clap many times. Yeah, everyone knows at least one Klappsta.)
Not only will your guests like the slang quality of the name, but they'll be impressed. Unless they too are Ikea shoppers. Then it might be a little awkward that you are bragging about your $150 chair. It's like the person who brags about their brand new tires... Goodyear. Ikea's clever little wordplay is definitely funner than tires, so perhaps they'll let your cheap furniture brag go. After all, naming kitchen utensils "IDEALISK" is fricken genius. It's a wisk, it's ideal for cooking... It's IDEALISK.
Can I be adopted by IKEA?