I have a psycho in my apartment building. She's living right above our unit. Each night, she jogs, stomps, runs, builds things with small power tools (NONE of this is exaggerated. Sadly.).... She's just LOUD. It's impossible to sleep through her excessive movements and I am a heavy sleeper. Sometimes I hear her throughout the day too.It interrupts me even on the phone.
Me on the phone: "Yeah, that's no problem. I -"
BANG BANG BANG! STOMP STOMP STOMP! THUD!!!
Me on the phone: "Oh. Sorry... No, I am not at a construction site.... No, I'm sorry, there's not a quiter part of the building I can go to.... Uh uh... the bathrooms even louder... Yeah, sound must travel through the pipes."
It's not just phone calls. If it were, that wouldn't be a big deal. Well it WOULD be but not as much as what it is now. It's like my entire life needs those weird foamy earplugs. Take an average night:
11:00pm - Tucking self in... (THUD...BANG BANG BANG....[running]...CRASH!)
12:00am - zzzzZZZZzzzz - BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG (I sit up, freak out, go back to bed)
2:30am - zzzzZZZZzzzzz- THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP... [rapid banging] (I sit up, contemplate going upstairs to give crazy person the business, decide to wake up Anthony instead) "We have to move, honey" Anthony: mmmhhhmmmm...[snore]
5:00am - zzzzzZZZZZzzz - [heavy running] CRASH... (I scream into my pillow)
7:00am - wake up after hitting "snooze" 22 times.
Should I leave a note? Should I let this total psycho know how much she irritates me? I was thinking that at this point, I have no choice. It's gotten to the point where I dream of stabbing her in the neck. Everytime my son comes over, he tells me it's hard to sleep because of all the noise. Yesterday he zonked out midday because he couldn't sleep the night before. I still can't move just yet... So I am thinking snarky note would be perfect.
Dear Psychotic neighbor,
You are a disturbing human being. You either need a job or a concrete cell for an apartment.My guess is BOTH. It's so routine that you disturb my sleep, I expect that one day I might march up there to give you a piece of my mind. I can assure that won't be pretty. Nothing is more ugly than me, in my jammies, holding a stuffed sheep ready to rumble. Might I recommend you SLEEP at night? Oh, is that something you struggle with? Try tylenol PM, alcohol, or Ambien. If all else fails, try not taking everyone else down with you. I have a job, a long drive to get to said job, and typically these have to be accomplished while alert. I can't be alert when I hear you running a marathon in your tiny little apartment. Our floors are thin. I can hear all the crazy things you do at night, such as streaking across your mansion of 700 sq feet. In case you weren't aware, your apartment is not large. No reason to run constantly. A snail could make it end to end in about a minute 30. Okay? So STFU and sleep, you psychotic cow.
Rachel. The sane person with a life.
Yeah that's the ticket. A snarky note.
FYI - Operation: WE'RE FREAKING MOVING is ON!