So, my favorite blog, Jennsylvania, written by my favorite author had this contest about quirks and secret shames. I totally wanted to enter, but got stuck on what I would enter. So, I thought I would shame it all out on my blog in what I would like to call the St Patty's Day Shame-a-thon. A drinking game.
Here's how it works. I lay out my secret shames and habits and any that you share, you take a shot of your favorite green lager. Woo hoo! Let's get started, shall we?
1. I eat my colored candies by grouping them by color and eating each color seperately. I also tend to obsess over the color ratio. If the colors are distributed proportionally, I feel ripped off.
2. My toilet paper roll has to roll over, not under! I would rather you not put it on the holder at all (Anthony rather enjoys this option) than put it on that dreaded 'under' way.
3. Serial sneezers, people who sneeze 3 or more times in a row, tend to grate on my nerves. Yeah, I know you can't control it, but it still pisses me off. God Bless You! All right?!?! I'm only saying it once.
4. Lambs and Petunia are my stuffed sheep, I still have them, they aren't going anywhere. I'm sure lots of people have something stuffed that isn't going anywhere.
5. I think moms who eat food out of their children's hands are disgusting. Children are little germ incubators. They don't even wipe properly. Sometimes I do gag a little if Seth tries to feed me anything. NO! THANK YOU!
6. I silently mock people who never use the right form of you're or your. Same with effect and affect. If you get paid more than me, sometimes I save it in my online form of a burn book.
7. I may not be thin, but I obsessively count every calorie I eat. I literally will grab my phone and use a calorie counting app or try and estimate the calories by hand.
8. I freak out to no end when my husband or son picks something off the ground. I will squeal and scream and start fishing in my purse for anti-bac. They are dropping that item they picked up immediately or I am drop kicking them. If you hear, "EWWW!!! DROP IT!! DROP IT!!! DROP IT!!!" in a grocery store parking lot, it could be me.
9. I CANNOT buy meat from Wal-mart. Or any perishable at all. It turns my stomach. Something about not wanting to skimp on what I put into my body and my fear that some of the characters in Wal-mart were made that way from the cheap quality foods...
10. I tailgate people who do less than the speed limit. Sorry, but obviously you have no place to go and should have stayed home. In my mind I am saying, "HELLO?!?! SOME OF US HAVE JOBS"?!?!? Out loud? I am screaming at the driver because most of the time there's another loser like him/her in the lane next to me. Brake check me? That's the one system on my car I keep in order. Good luck.
11. I don't poop in public places. Sorry, no. I barely pee in public places. I find public restrooms traumatizing. Why are they always wet? My goal is to get in and get out in 60 seconds. Including washing the hands. Which I both wash and anti-bac.
12. Public door handles... I also hate them as well. Sometimes I find a napkin and use that. Or I use my sleeve. Same with elevator bottons and light switches. I mean, no one ever cleans them!
13. I hate explaining anything to anyone. When my husband says why? I say, "do I REALLY have to explain this to you? REALLY? You REALLY do not get it?" Many times it's condescending enough to shut him up. Why? Because I fricken said so. Google it.
14. Vomit is the worst thing on this planet. End. Of. Story. You want to puke? Fine. Do it no less than 500 feet from me. Also, you losers who get thrashed and puke all over the club, the sidewalk, and the parking garage? You suck.
15. If someone else is controlling the radio in the car, I have to turn it down. I cannot allow someone else to blast music in the car, even if it's a song I like. I get the worst headache.
16. I cannot be in the same room as the television if TMZ is on. Seriously. It's so annoying. "I got random celebrity stuffing their face!!!" It's creepy and turns my stomach.
17. My house must be kept below 70 degrees at all times. I hate heat. I would have no heat at all in the winter if I didn't rent.
There ye go. Drunk yet? 17 secrets for you to attempt to identify with! Didn't get drunk enough? Add your own in the comments section so people can drink to it later!
And... Happy St Patty's Day!